Did you know that non-verbal language, which includes body language and tone of voice, contributes a higher portion (as high as 93%) of effective communication in sending our messages across than spoken words? A person may say a long winding apology to someone but may not look sincere if facial expression and body language doesn’t come into play.

In spoken communications, body language accounts for 55%; 38% comes from the tone of voice and 7% of actual words contribute to the meaning of a message. –Prof. Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA

In everyday living, we may not even realise that we use our words, body language and tone of voice to convey our message accurately. For instance, you may not even notice you cross your arms at becoming unsatisfied with something or someone. And on the flip side, we may not realise that our brain starts to formulate thoughts when we see someone crossing his or her arm  (eg. “He must be upset about something”). We have taken this ability for granted almost all the time.

Because it comes so naturally to most of us, it might be difficult to imagine if we have difficulty in understanding and interpreting non-verbal information. Expounding further, a communication breakdown will be the likely consequence. And if this happens constantly due to such difficulties, our social participation will be highly affected and the problem will later escalate to affect our social relationships with others.

Some children who may be speaking using long, complex sentences with accurate grammar, may still show problems in communication if he/she shows problems in understanding and using the rules of social interaction. This social learning or social communication deficits might be the exact circumstances that affect them everyday. Let’s discuss further on the reasons why we need to teach our children social skills.

1. Some children don’t pick up the skills instinctively

Some children who have social communication deficit do not adopt all the social skills intuitively. In social learning, they might be struggling to understand and use verbal and non-verbal communication, even if they have made an effort to try. They will display difficulties in some or all of the areas such as below:

1. Greeting, sharing information
2. Speaking differently in a classroom and playground, to adult and peers
3. Taking turns, know how to use verbal and nonverbal signals while telling story
4. Understand underlying meaning depends on a context (e.g. inferencing, jokes)

The development of these social skills is not automatic for children who are at risk of developing social impairment. Therefore, more explicit and intentional teaching is necessary for them (Bredekamp & Copple, 1997). If we do not intervene the learning process, the difficulty will persist and continue to have an impact to their lives.

 

2. Social skills is highly related to academic success

Socially competent children are more academically successful and poor social skills are a strong predictor of academic failure (Webster-Stratton & Reid  2004)

In a classroom setting, there are implied social rules. For instance, paying attention, following the teacher’s directions, and controlling negative emotions. Failure to follow these social rules will result in some unfavourable behaviours such as being inattentive, disorganized, and impulsive. And these were found to be detrimental to children’s school performance. According to research, children who failed to abide by the social rules do less well in school (Ladd, Kochenderfer, & Coleman, 1997).

Furthermore, with potential classmate rejection and less positive feedback from teachers, it will aggravate even more off task behaviours and less instruction time (Shores & Wehby, 1999).

 

3. It limits the social interaction and triggers anxiety problems

Individuals with social deficits reported that they would like to interact with peers, but due to their limited social skills, they have difficulty to develop the social interaction. For example, they might not know how or when to take turn in a conversation. Even though they have tried to integrate with their peers, it was ended by peer rejection and social isolation (Chamberlain, 2001). As a consequence, they develop a deeper level of loneliness feeling compared to their peers. Thus, social skills deficits may contribute to anxiety problems (Myles, 2001; Tantam, 2003).

 

Conclusion

Studies have shown that social skills intervention for children at an early age can result in fewer aggressive responses, inclusion with pro-social peer groups, and more academic success. And the formative pre-school years would be the most critical time for such intervention to facilitate their social competence before any unfavourable behaviour and their reputations develop into a persistent pattern (Webster-Stratton & Reid, 2004).

Stay tuned for my next blog post, I will discuss what interventions we can consider to help our children develop their social skills.

 

References:

Bredekamp, S. & Copple, C. (1997). Developmentally appropriate practice in early childhood programs. Washington, DC. NAEYC.

Chamberlain, B. O. (2001). Isolation or involvement? The social networks of children with autism included in regular classes. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, University of California, Los Angeles.

Ladd, G. W., Kochenderfer, B. J., & Coleman, C. (1997). Classroom peer acceptance, friendship, and victimization: Distinct relational systems that contribute uniquely to children’s school adjustment Child Developemnt, 68, 1181-1197.

Myles, B. S., Bock, S. J., & Simpson, R. L. (2001). Asperger syndrome diagnostic scale. Austin, TX: Pro-Ed.

Shores, R. E., & Wehby, J. H. (1999). Analyzing classroom social behaviour of students with EBD. Journal of Emotional and Behavioral Disorders, 7, 194-199.

Tantam, D. (2003). The challenge of adlescents and adules with Asperger syndrome. Child Adolescence and Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 12, 143-163.

Webster-Stratton, C. & Reid, C. M. (2004). Strengthening Social and Emotional Competence in Young Children – The Foundation for Early School Readiness and Success. Infants and Young Children, 17(2), 96-113